Lately; I have been working on some things for the Church's Africa Fund. It has been a meager and only source of work for me. After all; I did go to a University for grassroots organizing and bear the brunt of understanding social responsibility for a while. However; today I am reflecting on that experience...and quite noticably; I'm not white looking enough. It's amazing how people in social movements use reverse racism to pigeon-hole people who are like me. We can do no right as far as they are concerned because their view of racism and minorities is the only correct view that should exist.
It is tragically the reason that Wars start in the world. It is a matter of control. Even today; i read a local/regional magazine about environment. It pigeon holes those of us with families in Other countries as "exotic foreign visitors." My family lives in Japan. I have seen my Obasan (grandmother) only once in my lifetime that I remember. Today; she is dying of cancer in her Akita-ken home. I am extremely sad. Dualy; I have received an emil from a schoolmate who assisted in dishing out school abuse to me while I was in Elementary school. He wrote that he is in Osaka. I replied in effect that I don't want my childhood memories in my adult life; and please, don't write to me again.
My Japanese family members think that I live in a ghetto. It is a place full of hateful Americans who are primarily of Caucasian descent. These people not only steal from me; pay me worse than an immigrant mexican worker; destroy my reputation; try to build me up as a blasphemous and disgusting ethnic female; disrespect all of my years of private training from American and European teachers for Piano, disrepect me and the laws that exist to protect me, disrespect me further by slandering me....
I understand that I am outnumbered on a daily basis. I understand that noone is willing to enforce the laws that did exist to protect me. I understand that ganging up on 1 minority female and her family is cake for them to build up their own "white pretensiousness."
I am disgusted with the country that I live in. It is not a pleasant place for me to inhabit in the least part. I felt more comfortable leaving my posessions in my tent in a campground in Thailand (not excluding my sleeping person at night); than I do sleeping in my own room/apartment/dormitory that I have slept in here in the U.S.A. (primarily Bucks County, PA and then Ithaca, NY). My opinion of course stands alone. I live amidst an overdeveloped clan of neanderthalish caucasianoids of disinherited European descent here in the States.
I only wish; I could give my Obasan a hug while she is still alive.
