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Wednesday, July 26, 2006
No More Nukes and Commeration of Hiroshima
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Work Books
Things are slightly better today.
I read the book "The Art of Happiness" by His Holiness the Dalai Lama , yesterday.
It is straightforward and practical. It definately beat out the book " What Would Buddha do at Work?" Though I appreciate the different approaches of each book.
I read the book "The Art of Happiness" by His Holiness the Dalai Lama , yesterday.
It is straightforward and practical. It definately beat out the book " What Would Buddha do at Work?" Though I appreciate the different approaches of each book.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Multicultural Asia Photos...
From Left to Right; Photo from the Dress rehersal ; Korea, Japan (that's me with the Obi- though I wore a wedding Kimono for the real show), Formal Kimonos; Manchurian dress, and Indian Dress.
I was going through some old photographs of some of the things that I did as a child.
This event at Pearl Buck Foundation was good for the few people who attended to see what some of the different traditional forms; and modern forms of dress of Asia are. BTW: I am not transracially adopted; My biological mother or nanny immigrated to the U.S. from Japan.
I was going through some old photographs of some of the things that I did as a child.
This event at Pearl Buck Foundation was good for the few people who attended to see what some of the different traditional forms; and modern forms of dress of Asia are. BTW: I am not transracially adopted; My biological mother or nanny immigrated to the U.S. from Japan.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
My brother and I together as kids
He was my best friend in this place. Especially for the first 80% or 17 years of my life.
We are both Halvsie; both endured school beatings; both endured racist treatment by the school and the school officials; both worked hard to make our parents happy. My brother's life ended last year... laying in a field dead, with a nearby shotgun, and no autopsy was done, and the police harassed me and harmed me that day... I still hate it here, the police, the racism, and all...
Living in U.S. white Society as a Haafu
I am quite weary for my unusual life punishment of :: death by bludgeoning by 100,000+ white mindsets who never experienced Asia.
And, I am quite upset with people treating me ill based on their bubble worlds;;--bubble worlds where they construct their own notion of who I am, who my family is; what sick role they want to play opposite me...without regard to my actual family. It is in essence racism.
I am also of Japanese descent. I also was thinking about my brother's condition before he died; He had been working at an irradiation plant because it was what the Temporary agency assigned to him; people at his workplace 1 mo. before his death were calling him Ai Qaida due to hair growth on his face (commonly referred to as a beard); My brother's beard hid some of the skin that was falling off of his face from his work and exposure to chemicals and radioactive elements. My brother also had skin falling off of his hands. As a young person; my brother had severe allergies to huindreds of substances;..but white people here treated him poorly and said he was a drug addict. I have no knowledge; firsthand or otherwise of any of his drug use ...so, I cannot say that those words are/were true; though my brother said people forced him to "test" chemicals...as his work at Deon Beverages was coerced by my father and the community.
I personally am outraged with the entire community here. I am of Half Japanese descent and 1st generation here in this country. I also cannot afford to pay anymore caucasoid people all the money I have so that I am accepted as "educated" according to them; they are simply thugs. Additionally; I am humiliated with trying to bring cultural understanding to people who ultimately find racism and segregation an easy path; because it has eliminated options for my survival.
I live with someone now because I have no options; it is humiliating. And, i have no way to pay my own debts for my education and survival expenses which exceeded $10,000/ year in Gasoline ($3000), Additional room out of state ($3000) and therapy ($320+/ month). I cannot afford to live; I have little business left; and I have pursued some of a M.S.M. degree that has no advantage. I have not been able to find suitable investors; despite offers from Builder/developers, The original Buisness entrepreneur who started PeopleSoft, or Other Capital Entrepreneurs who have shown me no respect. My family values of my Mother's family are engrained in me; and, Noone I have met matches their standards.
Unless a suitable investor is present; I cannot justify trying to work in conditions like my brother did ( I am highly allergic to many buildings here in the States; and cannot tolerate chemicals in the air--much like any K-Mart or Wal-mart for any period over 20 min. I experience respiratory irritation and itchy red eyes from the environment.
The people here choose to be belligerent; And; the issue of my "mixed-race" is too complicated for them to comprehend. I have little funds to leave the area and then no money to afford a safe and respectable-of-my person place to live. Men make it very clear if i don't comply with their sexual advances; that I have no place to stay;...though I have found some support from an ex where he does leave me alone (I despise the fighting).
These are my reasons for not wanting to continue; And, my family in Japan has their ties with the Govt. and with the addition of my Aunt and Uncle Takenaka...of yes...the family lineage (and ex Ceo of the Takenaka Corporation) who built the Imperial Palace and the Tokyo Tower, as well as skyscrapers in California and other places in Asia.
I hope that you all understand how I feel; in some part.
My political U.S. activist training has additionally contributed to much additional abuse from my Father's family and local government here in Bucks County.
At the onset of my life; I was instructed that i exist here for other's to learn from; and to be an example of Japanese culture to the extent that I could (as a child). As an adult I learned about the U.S. political system and learned and participated in changing some laws. Today; I am being chastized for my entire being.
I have grown to hate and despise many of the people who I encounter here in Pennsylvania. And, I realize that they may try to take my life; as they have been attempting over the past 3 years;; actively.
my spirit is tired of this.
I want you to know that I did try my best; and I'm not going to pay to learn Buddhism from another caucasian because I'm unacceptable to them.
Much Peace,
Angela
And, I am quite upset with people treating me ill based on their bubble worlds;;--bubble worlds where they construct their own notion of who I am, who my family is; what sick role they want to play opposite me...without regard to my actual family. It is in essence racism.
I am also of Japanese descent. I also was thinking about my brother's condition before he died; He had been working at an irradiation plant because it was what the Temporary agency assigned to him; people at his workplace 1 mo. before his death were calling him Ai Qaida due to hair growth on his face (commonly referred to as a beard); My brother's beard hid some of the skin that was falling off of his face from his work and exposure to chemicals and radioactive elements. My brother also had skin falling off of his hands. As a young person; my brother had severe allergies to huindreds of substances;..but white people here treated him poorly and said he was a drug addict. I have no knowledge; firsthand or otherwise of any of his drug use ...so, I cannot say that those words are/were true; though my brother said people forced him to "test" chemicals...as his work at Deon Beverages was coerced by my father and the community.
I personally am outraged with the entire community here. I am of Half Japanese descent and 1st generation here in this country. I also cannot afford to pay anymore caucasoid people all the money I have so that I am accepted as "educated" according to them; they are simply thugs. Additionally; I am humiliated with trying to bring cultural understanding to people who ultimately find racism and segregation an easy path; because it has eliminated options for my survival.
I live with someone now because I have no options; it is humiliating. And, i have no way to pay my own debts for my education and survival expenses which exceeded $10,000/ year in Gasoline ($3000), Additional room out of state ($3000) and therapy ($320+/ month). I cannot afford to live; I have little business left; and I have pursued some of a M.S.M. degree that has no advantage. I have not been able to find suitable investors; despite offers from Builder/developers, The original Buisness entrepreneur who started PeopleSoft, or Other Capital Entrepreneurs who have shown me no respect. My family values of my Mother's family are engrained in me; and, Noone I have met matches their standards.
Unless a suitable investor is present; I cannot justify trying to work in conditions like my brother did ( I am highly allergic to many buildings here in the States; and cannot tolerate chemicals in the air--much like any K-Mart or Wal-mart for any period over 20 min. I experience respiratory irritation and itchy red eyes from the environment.
The people here choose to be belligerent; And; the issue of my "mixed-race" is too complicated for them to comprehend. I have little funds to leave the area and then no money to afford a safe and respectable-of-my person place to live. Men make it very clear if i don't comply with their sexual advances; that I have no place to stay;...though I have found some support from an ex where he does leave me alone (I despise the fighting).
These are my reasons for not wanting to continue; And, my family in Japan has their ties with the Govt. and with the addition of my Aunt and Uncle Takenaka...of yes...the family lineage (and ex Ceo of the Takenaka Corporation) who built the Imperial Palace and the Tokyo Tower, as well as skyscrapers in California and other places in Asia.
I hope that you all understand how I feel; in some part.
My political U.S. activist training has additionally contributed to much additional abuse from my Father's family and local government here in Bucks County.
At the onset of my life; I was instructed that i exist here for other's to learn from; and to be an example of Japanese culture to the extent that I could (as a child). As an adult I learned about the U.S. political system and learned and participated in changing some laws. Today; I am being chastized for my entire being.
I have grown to hate and despise many of the people who I encounter here in Pennsylvania. And, I realize that they may try to take my life; as they have been attempting over the past 3 years;; actively.
my spirit is tired of this.
I want you to know that I did try my best; and I'm not going to pay to learn Buddhism from another caucasian because I'm unacceptable to them.
Much Peace,
Angela
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Sharing Culture with The PA Deutsch
In Elementary School I was the only kid with summertime brown skin. I remember going to elementary school and being teased and beaten up every recess by 5 girls who hated my skincolor. The aides on recess duty used to standby and watch me being beaten by other kids; swung by my hair and pushed into the dirt. The teachers and recess duty aides never interfered.
It became such a problem that they asked my mother to come into class and try to teach the children for 1 day; something about Japan. I remember each year; for 2 years; my mother visited my class and showed them Japanese writing and wrote their names in Japanese.
I remember that these kids returned home and showed these things to their parents. The following weeks became more brutal to me at school. Several of the children were instructed by their families that Japanese people were bad. I was brutalized more at school; despite my natural born American citizen status. Just so they could play their own political game. These Children who beat me or assisted or approved are now adults and parents in the same community; as well as others. It has been 18 years since then; things have not improved.
It became such a problem that they asked my mother to come into class and try to teach the children for 1 day; something about Japan. I remember each year; for 2 years; my mother visited my class and showed them Japanese writing and wrote their names in Japanese.
I remember that these kids returned home and showed these things to their parents. The following weeks became more brutal to me at school. Several of the children were instructed by their families that Japanese people were bad. I was brutalized more at school; despite my natural born American citizen status. Just so they could play their own political game. These Children who beat me or assisted or approved are now adults and parents in the same community; as well as others. It has been 18 years since then; things have not improved.
Learning about Tofu
My mother immigrated from Japan in the late 60's. She did her best with raising me with Japanese values and food. I loved tofu, rice, and many other traditional japanese dishes. My involvement with Japanese food increased after she was terminally diagnosed with cancer. I had food and herbs from my Obasan to eat.
When I got into High school there was a blonde haired blue eyed girl who took interest in me. We only talked because I was vegan at that point in time. She decided that she would take me "under-her wing" and teach me all about tofu. She really taught me nothing but her arrogance. I kept my mouth shut in fear of being brutalized like i was so frequently on the playground. I imagine today that she still doesn't care about people; doesn't mind nuclear bombs; and she called herself an environmentalist.
When I got into High school there was a blonde haired blue eyed girl who took interest in me. We only talked because I was vegan at that point in time. She decided that she would take me "under-her wing" and teach me all about tofu. She really taught me nothing but her arrogance. I kept my mouth shut in fear of being brutalized like i was so frequently on the playground. I imagine today that she still doesn't care about people; doesn't mind nuclear bombs; and she called herself an environmentalist.
Family Structure
Anyone ever wonder what it's like to be a 1st generation person in a politically defamatory country like the USA? Just a reminder; my family of Grandparents; Aunts; Uncles; and Cousins contributed greatly; through lineage and otherwise to build monuments in Japan as well as skyscrapers in California.
click here to view family flow chart:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Relatives_Chart.jpg#file
I miss my brother tremendously....
My family and me:
click here to view family flow chart:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Relatives_Chart.jpg#file
I miss my brother tremendously....
My family and me:
Monday, July 10, 2006
Man & Seagull - a [poem]
Man and the Seagull
by a.k.a. Oko_ne 1999
The Seagull said to the man,
“What is it that you hold in your hand?”
The man said to the seagull,
“I hold in my hand a shell, a snail and
a grain of sand.
The shell is for the snail to live
The snail a reminder of time
The grain of sand,
Life so small,
made the shell
and the beach on which I stand.
Reminders of life are what I hold in my hand.
The Seagull said to the man,
“I carry no shell, or snail or grain of sand. Why is it that you hold such things in your hand?”
The man said,
“I carry such reminders to keep in mind,
Where I have come from ,
and what I do not understand.”
Angela m. Kneale copyright 1999
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Links to Professional Amer-Asian Articles
Diversity training needed for Small Businesses: Not necessarily about being Halvsie
I remember a short stint I served as a Personal Assistant. I, a Halvsie, was asked to call a temp agency and fill a work order to get some work done under contract. The employees the temp agency sent to fill the work order were African-American. I, a halvsie, was under contract with the company's owner. He, the company owner, screamed at me after locking himself in his workspace; -- yelling at me for the "color" of the work crew that was sent. As a contractor, i have no recourse in such an abusive situation to me because of someone else's racism. I cried alone at lunchbreak each day;-- my tears nearly filling the hour for the duration of that job.
see below for reasons to work in Corporate America as opposed to the contracting world:
______________________________________________________
LINKS:
Good site Articles to read about Amer-asian:
Asian Americans in Corporate America: By Jane Hyun
http://www.multiculturaladvantage.com/contentmgt/anmviewer.asp?a=633&z=4
Why Are Asian American Executives Scarce: By Dan Woog
http://www.multiculturaladvantage.com/leader/workplace-leadership/Why-Are-Asian-American-Executives-Scarce.asp
I remember a short stint I served as a Personal Assistant. I, a Halvsie, was asked to call a temp agency and fill a work order to get some work done under contract. The employees the temp agency sent to fill the work order were African-American. I, a halvsie, was under contract with the company's owner. He, the company owner, screamed at me after locking himself in his workspace; -- yelling at me for the "color" of the work crew that was sent. As a contractor, i have no recourse in such an abusive situation to me because of someone else's racism. I cried alone at lunchbreak each day;-- my tears nearly filling the hour for the duration of that job.
see below for reasons to work in Corporate America as opposed to the contracting world:
______________________________________________________
LINKS:
Good site Articles to read about Amer-asian:
Asian Americans in Corporate America: By Jane Hyun
http://www.multiculturaladvantage.com/contentmgt/anmviewer.asp?a=633&z=4
Why Are Asian American Executives Scarce: By Dan Woog
http://www.multiculturaladvantage.com/leader/workplace-leadership/Why-Are-Asian-American-Executives-Scarce.asp
Amer-Asian Mental Health Resources
I am beginning to compile some online references about Asian Health. I know that I am particularly sensitive to medications; and frequently cannot take prescription or any conventional synthesized medicaton/drug due to heightened side effects and sensitivity. The Toxicity testing performed on one race varies for those who are of mixed caucasian and non-caucasian racial background. Those who are of mixed race are more susceptible to the side-effects of prescription medication occuring immediately.
The Following is from the National Alliance on Mental Illness website pdf link below:
• Asian Americans require sensitivity when being prescribed medications as they may react differently
to the medications than other cultures, in terms of side effects and toxicity.
• The majority of Asian Americans seek alternative modes of treatment for illnesses. Some alternative
modes of care, such as herbal treatments, may interfere with prescription medications.
• Genetic alterations may cause differences in the metabolization of prescription drugs. Specifically,
many Asian Americans have a genetic alteration that decreases the metabolic rate of the
IID6 isoenzyme - which is responsible for metabolizing tricyclic antidepressants and many antipsychotics.
• Differences in body fat and diet may result in fluctuating responses to prescription medications.
http://www.nami.org/Content/ContentGroups/MIO/Fact_Sheets1/AAPI_Facts_about_MH_04.pdf
The Following is from the National Alliance on Mental Illness website pdf link below:
• Asian Americans require sensitivity when being prescribed medications as they may react differently
to the medications than other cultures, in terms of side effects and toxicity.
• The majority of Asian Americans seek alternative modes of treatment for illnesses. Some alternative
modes of care, such as herbal treatments, may interfere with prescription medications.
• Genetic alterations may cause differences in the metabolization of prescription drugs. Specifically,
many Asian Americans have a genetic alteration that decreases the metabolic rate of the
IID6 isoenzyme - which is responsible for metabolizing tricyclic antidepressants and many antipsychotics.
• Differences in body fat and diet may result in fluctuating responses to prescription medications.
http://www.nami.org/Content/ContentGroups/MIO/Fact_Sheets1/AAPI_Facts_about_MH_04.pdf
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Fuzion Sauce for 16 cent Noodles
Below is a recipe for Nutritional Sauce @ 200 calories and appx 5-6 grams of protein; enough for one person...plus a link to a zen story Finding a Diamond on a Muddy Road
Ingredients & Instructions:
- 1- $.16 cent ramen noodle packet- throw out the flavor packet of MSG etc. - cook these noodles until soft and tender. Then add the Below ingredients.
- Ketchup (Heinz) - 2 tbsp
- Tahini - 2 tbsp
- Shoyu - ½ tsp
my 1992 perspective
This paper was written by me in High School. I received acknowledgement of my 4th place standing at the local Young Optimists Club. I did not change/alter the writing or verbage as it was written for my H.S. teacher to read. Today I read this and find myself appalled by the title alone.
see below:________________________________________________________
see below:________________________________________________________
“FREEDOM; A RIGHT OR A PRIVILEGE?”
by
a.k.a. Oko_ne
1992
The Philosophical definition of freedom according to the Random House College Dictionary is, “the power to make one’s own choices or decisions without constraint from within or without.” Regarding “Freedom; a right or privilege?” it cannot be one without being the other. Being intangible, it has no definite form and has no limits, except those decreed by society. Therefore, it cannot stand as a right or privilege alone. Freedom also takes new form to suit each individual’s beliefs.
In the days of the pilgrims, freedom was the ideal that one could choose his own religion without prosecution. The people’s right to choose their religion was important, for it had great impact on their lives. However, religious freedom was constrained by the state and was only available to those prepared to risk their lives to obtain it.
About 150 years after the American colonies were established, came the writing of the “The Declaration of Independence.” This document contains several important statements about each man’s freedom. It asserted: -- “… That all men are created equal,… endowed with certain unalienable rights, …among these are Life,
Freedom is a right earned as a privilege. One example shown regards the American-black slaves. In 1863, President Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves with the Emancipation Proclamation. Although they were free, they were looked upon as inferior and incapable of handling their freedom. Therefore it was restricted by setting them apart from the rest of American Society. When the blacks voice their feelings, there were great uprisings in pursuit of their freedom being equal with that of the whites. This shows that freedom is not just given to one, but must be earned, and proof of one’s worth may be required.
The examples in the previous paragraphs showed what freedom meant to specific groups in the past. Today, freedom is a concern of the individual, and how one’s freedom affects another’s. In the issue of animal rights, I believe that each and every animal has the right to life. However, humans often consider animals inferior and violate their right to life through laboratory testing and hunting. In many ways, animals are treated by humans, as blacks in time past were treated by whites, an as the pilgrims were prosecuted by the Anglican church.
With regard to, “Is freedom a right or a privilege?”, one would have to say that, in essence, freedom is a right which must be earned as a privilege. It is something which must be fought for. If one is given this opportunity, it should be used to its fullest extent and should not be taken for granted.
Oko_ne ©1992
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