Targeted attacks updates

In 2021, I was targeted heavily

1. Summer 2021-  My vehicle sat in the driveway most days.PA state cancelled my license plate and insurance for no particular reason and without warning. I got a $0.00 insurance bill that alerted me to the problem. Had to borrow cash to replace the UN nexpired dead tag at a notary. The notary confirmed that the tag (license plate and registration) had not expired but someone at the State access level cancelled it. And I was billed for a new tag and a new registration. I mailed in the dead tag, but never heard a response from the State.

2. A BBB designated "legitimate" tax collector sent letters to me demanding payment of local taxes. And, I sent payment to them before the end of 2021. Yesterday I received a State notice saying they never received any tax payments from me. Yet took $35 for my 2021 tax refund as an adjusted payment. 

So despite paying the Keystone tax collector:- to date in 2022- Pennsylvania has not received any of the money.

3. I received another letter a week ago from another Pennsylvania office with another keystone logo but from a PO Box in Sacremento, California address. It says someone stole my Identity and to contact them with my personal information to use their websites as credit monitoring.

I posted a pic of the letter on Facebook and was told it is a scam.

4. I was contaminated with something that nearly killed me in 2021. I had been very sick, lethargic, and unable to move after eating and my last 2021 blood donation confirmed some issue that may only be elevated D-dimer levels. They suggested I have HepB.antibodies yet it is inconclusive.

It is highly likely a CDC monitored individual contaminated me by April 2021 at my last part-time workplace.

another dismal dream

While the quality of life deteriorated through lockdown, unexpectedly, I spent many hours in meditation and prayer.

Part of what drove me to prayer was the escalation of anti-Asian hate and hate acts directed at me each day I was in public 

And the international healing  prayer group I have belonged to for many years has also held it's share of Karen's more than Kens from the USA based communities.

Yet, I reluctantly avoided much of the volunteer leadership who felt more inclined to outrightly say they hate me or they hate Japanese people within a brief introduction.

And despite writing to other volunteer leaders about the incidents that made me feel unwelcome and threatened, I had no response. It was my last refuge online and isolated from any normal social interactions for the past 2 years. 

This morning I woke from my slumber in yet another dismal dream scene. One walking through some beautiful residence with a famous Hawaiian. And stopping to see how polluted and trashed the once pristine Hawaii waters had become. The water was somewhere between NYC trash and rubbish plus Thailand's streams of brown. 

And then a scene where I was job seeking for an appropriate job for my Buddhist and Vegan soul. Yet only dark trades in alsohol and clubs were offered. Even an old college classmate appeared to tell me they have plenty of Jobs at the world xlass alcohol distribution retail store where he works just before then his own face turned blue as if he were dying from a toxic Jab. It was an unusual dream of someone I last saw a few years ago. And with a clear ATF connection due to the workplace. 

I woke to the phone ringing loudly 1st from my hometown and then immediately after from another town and the reality of police from other counties calling for fundraising.

I wondered if there was microwave or RF they directed at the house again. Last night, I had my phone battery run down after a session of activist emails, and put the phone and Bluetooth headset in an old Microwave and unplugged the WiFi router. The TV's were turned off until I finished housecleaning, near 11AM and people returned from post-op surgery checkup. Sometimes the police park nearby to use any portable RF weapons. 

After all, yesterday, I had my phone on again on my drive to town and a PD SUV passed me on my short rural drive. These Police sightings are no longer coincidence since they have targeted and covered up killing my siblings and the abductions I went through over 3 decades I lived in Bucks County, PA. 

The 20+ reports I made to the liberal Department of Justice had inconsiquential impact on my life. Rather I got the sense that they condoned pedophiles in the school employ and local governments sex assaults- on me as "an English learner". 

And today, like my childhood, I am stuck on the USA yet loathe everything about what these people are to me. I hate what these people are at a deep spiritual level.

And because my father is a white man who was USAF w6 and allegedly OSI-- my mother, was unable to fight these people and spare our lives the continued torture.

Today, I'm reaching 50years of age soon. And I have 50years of continued torture, outright discrimination, financial sabotage, and non-consensual human testing by Pennsylvania DeepState to report. Despite the painful wakeup all, I still pray for a positive time in my life where things are "FOR ME" in a positive supportive way. And I believe the USA is totally incapable of providing this for me.

Retrospect on Toxic mold AND Nano-tech

In retrospect, with so many nano-tech reporterrs showing cutting edge creations;- I've put together a different perspective of what I once called "toxic mold".yes, click on the link to find a real glimpse of the microbe toxic mold. Then start the comparison to how it doesn't look like what was in my blood.

Here's the first and one of very few pictures I have from my personal medical files that iCloud took away from me aka locked me out of my iCloud account. It looks like the Toxic Mold plushie more than the microbe. 

But it definitely has black spots like anake venom under a microscope-- indicating a biotoxin.   One of My Twitter and IG handle is @ImperialNewsJ.

I now understand that the researchers and "powers that be" use a bio-toxins such as black mold microbe (not nano), or hydras as an obvious culprit to blame for the array of symptoms and microscopic nano-crystals. However, after another hard long look at several other pictures I took of my own microscopy session-- I understand there was alot more to blame than "mother nature's bio-toxins."

Red Pill, was nothing I subscribed to in the past. But undeniably the professional reporters present so much information about these old pics Ifrom a microscopy session I had stored away as "natural biotoxin" byproducts (Especially see the gloved hand pointing below)

These pictures were "interesting areas" that lacked the black mold.  And I agreed and nodded my head along with the microscopist the whole way without researching any further that this was toxic mold cause and effect.

 But, here's my self reflection in 2021-2022:  In some pics little black dots are suspect of "malaria" attacking cells. Other nano sized black dots may be biotoxins/mycotoxins killing cells and/or graphene. I've found plenty of pics that make graphene a primary suspect, and it is highly toxic in an of itself. What a great compliment to the microbe black mold that is micro-sized and much larger than 20nm or the size of 2 red blood cells.

Clear Angular crystals also show up as micro sized (bigger than red blood cells). One of the largest crystals seems to have a z or angular S shaped nano circuit in it. 

The smallest crystal, shaped like a nano lemon and vaguely there is probably uric acid. While it's adjacent reflective lit up crystal --both surrounded by red blood cells-- is more akin to "5g" nanotech. And there is a lit up cyan-blue nano sphere or nano bead in the pic with the gloved hand. 

Now here's the thing that really bothers me about the nano Spheres/beads. Nano beads/spheres are typically used as delivery methods. And, without a prescription can contain and be coated with anything from mRNA to pharmaceuticals. Some nano beads/spheres are used to erect a type of nano-scaffolding also known as "implants" in truther lore of former CommanderJ ames Casbolt aka Michael Prince circa 2004.

Though I concur the biotoxins create a noticable level of disfunction in my body;- I also realize today that there was much much more than ONE single biotoxin in the droplets of blood I gave for analysis. Toxic mold, was hardly the only culprit. And the manmade nano-spheres are still my greatest concern due to the unknown Bio-tech weapons and uses they connotate as everything from Genetical manipulation, to chemical delivery, to nano-bots, and data transmitter stations.

dream last night

Though I slept last night, I had yet another dream with some EM look alike. 

Like a video clip again.

Clip 1:- a transportation system where I was in a starfighter looking vehicle on a set track. I asked if it is a coffin. Someone else said she bought a Tesla. Reluctantly, I sat in the vehicle while EM looked down on me. The track drove into town, and at an intersection;- another track with a vehicle appeared above me. These vehicles took up the width of the old street. But the test mode of this transport is stacked vertically. And then I was back home. And touching the places on my forehead that felt bruised from the #5g or microwave pulses.

Clip 2. Inside a huge barn like facility where EM is leading us while we follow. There are shops with tables and seating. This part is difficult to remember. Though I was mostly a bystander observing.

Clip 3.  Standing at a loading dock, there are "food trucks" that haul food to people secretly hidden. One trailer with fans, one box truck, and a personal car. Everything is dirty and dingy here. Yet for the people who live here this is an exciting thing to see. And only one question was asked of me - "how many people can fit in that" with EM motioning his attention to the box truck.

Those were the sequences I remember.

These synthetic dreams interfere with my problem solving and personal use of my dream time to solve my daily problems. 

I wake feeling violated by these "imposed" dreams. And no longer feel "included" or privy to some obscure knowledge since I learned this may be the defense department doing non-consensual brainwashing using real #5g microwave or satellite targeting.

warnings about my safety

Over the past 2 weeks I've had several warnings about my personal safety. That is in addition to the failing of my mother's health especially. And she already told me that if she does before my father, that they "DeepState" do plan to kill me.

It's very clear from my perspective that I was a mere hostage used to leverage my relatives in Japan. But that Americans intended to use my life as collateral in their unobstructed  racketeering schemes and RICO Act Violations.

There is little that I can do and am "blacklisted" from making money and keeping it without federal or other state actor interference for their personal gain.

my blood microscopy- 2014

healing today

The irrevocable harm to my life, has been a focus of my healing for the past several years. It's born out of sheer hatred the USA has had for Japan and the Japanese. And these Americans who attack me and continue to loose any shred of trust that I one had on them-- have failed to be worthwhile.

All I can do, is focus on what is good for me. The personal lessons that I learn. Today, I attended another online meeting time for healing. And realized what a waste of my time some of the people are since they o erstated their hatred of me as a mixed-nationality, Japanese -American. And with the rise in hate crimes, aside from my vehicle being tampered with in the driveway. I am unable to justify attending any distant gathering with these people with whom I now only share online meeting space.

I am unable to see them assisting me in. The event someone sabotages my vehicle while in a beautiful park setting. The cost of my energy quickly tallies into an escape to a place with people who do are friendlier.

Yet because I am still healing from decades of USA torture and persecution, I never have set down my own roots. My heart has become weary of being fetishized and despised by American men and women since I was a toddler. 

And I wish for a "redo" in a better community for my life to be perfect to me.

Where I am successful and have genuine love in my life. Where my core values are respected and upheld and my trust in others deepens with more success.

That is still merely a fantasy life for me. 

And today, I really am forced to reconsider my time and where I use my time. To have friends, real friends is something my life lacks.

angry today

Minorities are different than the rest of us FOB. Even if born in the USA, they say. They say Equality and push FISA 1978 a law that was derived straight from hate. Human Rights treaties ignored, forcing good families from abroad to be poor. Forced religion of a Christian cross, enforced by a racist, murderer, pedophile boss.  Then go to school at age 2 the lineup of pedophiles says we don't understand you. You an English learner, you bilingual mud. Your mom can't stop us and your dad is a scum. You should be thankful for our white cum.

From the DOJ to the preschool, elementary too. Quakertown DeepState has been making deals in a backroom. Bucks County they say is the Bildeberger's way. Their pedophiles and traffickers are here to stay. Using the system and obstructing all rights, unless they hand off money through lawsuits  protecting their knights. It's not a nation they say, the American way. There are no families or someone to protect you. They all sold out for an Xbox or two.

Scum, they keep the scum paid with RICO type crimes. Easy clean money they say, to hurt those related to foreign officials every year in every way. BUCKS county, PA is full of DeepState that paved the way over a swamp. Noone decent can reach them in an economic slump. Biotech testing on foreignwrs children too, hiding behind security of a Security agreement or two. Japanese are those they sold and killed to keep the Chinese, Koreans, and Phillipines. It's funny to them patriots. Isn't it.

ambient backscatter

This morning, I woke without having the mental disruption of what I generally call "v2k". The house has been innundated with frequencies 24/7 for the past 3 years I've been here. 

One microwave suspect: coming from a noisy pickup truck that parks someone on the rural county road outside. There are only 8-9 properties on this 1/2 mile of road where I live. The pickup truck's engine is noisy, and I get shielding out, which doesn't help. During their frequent nightly stops, the "moonlight farms" IP and it's related IP shows up. Almost as soon as I can screenshot the IP lists, my computer and phone are hacked-- And my screens multiply, open every app, or freeze. I'm stuck without a way to trace this nightly incident. And then the microwaves start to ping off the thin layer of shielding that covers my head. It only reduces some of the intensity of being microwaved from the street. Some days, I wonder if it's a portable LRad mounted. 

And the police- ignore my attempts to make reports. Clearly a sign that they are in compliance with the criminals. My only choice after over 2 years of continued cyber torture-- to make a weak report to the FBI. 

This is part of the daily onslaught of being a Targeted Individual in DeepState Pennsylvania. I'm cyberopped out of work. And my only options online are the ones that work. Things like Twitter. Occasional Facebook posts, are my cry for help.

And yes, life is this fragile today. Where all Cyberops have destroyed my ability to be competent in the world of WWW and internet. 

That is aside from what is called Cybertorture as a form of psychological torture. Which, today, maybe today-- I can expound upon. While I am hesitant due to my need to have "proof" of implants in my body at specific locations. And being run into the ground, and having little funds to survive on;-- it's unlikely that I will be able to produce full sets of accurate MRI, X-ray, and anything else that will show micro and nano-tech. 

Cybertorture is a new class of crime against a victim. And the forensic methods are still being established. All while I be ame a hate-crime victim of Bucks County police and local officials and their supporters.

Meeting yesterday

Yesterday, I attended an online meeting that I haven't been to since late fall of 2021.

The main reason was to help another ti who was struggling with a new zapper device that had blurry instruction photos and very badly written instructions.

After a slurry of texts and dms and email, I got the link to the meeting and forwarded it on. The online meeting known as TI Talk is run by a long-term UK activist.

Surprisingly, as I listened only planning to talk a little about the coil style zapper:- 

One newer TI speaking was from my home state of Pennsylvania. And lo and behold also only about 11miles away. Though their targeting is slightly different than what I experienced over my life in Bucks County, PA.

The stories went on and all I could do was share and confirm the police involvement in supporting and covering up criminals. And to the extent of rattling off dozens of crimes including: vehicular car tampering and running off the road, abductions, to other forms of torture that they coverup by refusing to take reports or go to the crime scene or vehicle. And that I responded to the UN about psychological torture and was retaliated on by the Bucks County, PA officials and other people and participating businesses.

And so I ran down some of year #46 for me and sharing that I had been sick and gotten confirmation early 2022 that I have Hepatitis B antibodies. So, I followed through on doing research as to how, since I knew the specifics of my work conditions in 2021, customers and a coworker.

And I found Arbutus BioPharma in my local Bucks County, PA area search results was looking to cure Hepatitis B. And after more digging found the Bucks County Bio-Tech charitable non profit for research having supported Arbutus BioPharma, a Canadian based company. The B.C. based company Arbutus BioPharma is also in litigation with Pfizer over royalties for the RNA delivery method in some of the Pandemic shots. 

I also mentioned the lockdown time when I was driving through town and saw a moving truck with stacks of silver cases being moved into a house that still had a for sale sign on it, near an elementary school. It looked like a milabs operation about to go down about a half hour before lockdown curfew. 

In any case, of course after I listened to other stories and findings; - the discussion about the zapper came up. And MWO was discussed. I was able to ask a former US Navy tech about 3D synthetic dreams. And had an reasonable answer for my question on how to block the disturbing video clips that have been ongoing throughout my life:- but that picked up pace in the past 2 weeks.

dirty bulk turned into got bad habits

While I fell out of my high performance grain free, mostly fruit free alkaline keto vegan and detox diet:- i packed on 15lbs sheerly by using a grain based protein powder. Not a good thing.

Dirty bulking for me consisted of:

Year 1:

2-3 grain inclusive (not keto) based plant protein shakes a day over 8-9months.

Added Hummus, pinto & black beans.

Year 2:

Owch-- all the bad stuff and here is the list

1.  Ramen Noodles  with MCT (personal spice mix of soy wasabi & chili soy)

2. Ketchup - a rare item due to toxins even if organic.

3. Rice- cooked white rice makes me feel worse than ramen noodles-- go figure

4. Assortment of normal (not keto)vegan cookies- these got so addictive after going decades. These cookies melt in coffee into a sugary slather. 

Officially, I got grain-brain. It is highly addictive plant based food with alot of empty calories

And MCT oil had added about 15lbs to my normally low weight. I can still cram myself into size 4's but I have a muffin top for the first time in my life. I am, a size 6 and my once pretty face is turned into a saggy elderly person's butt. 

I have a ton of training to do, and every joint pain and old injury is sore if not painful.

I'm hoping to turn it around. Especially after daily toxicity from Both of my unhealthy and unfit parents-- who did nothing positive for my life in the past 3years after asking me to stay close to home for them.

It's brutal. And my once happy healthy routine that includes occasional french fries and an avo toasted bagel is gone

Today, 2years into pandemic fueling and sedentary lifestyle-- I am seriously in deep shit. Financially, it's a tough turn around back to my optimal health that crushed my lifelong anemia.

How to turn this around? After being veg and mainly vegan for the past 35years of my life??? And unjoining the gym due to old ken type hostilities??? I'm at wits end.

Digging out the Unbeatable Mind course I took...doesn't seem like enough.

spruce tree fallen- uses

This morning, I woke to a bundle of lengthy spruce branches I trimmed. Yesterday I  safely incinerated the needles and had an aromatic Spruce incense bath lasting 2hours. And I left plenty of thicker sticks  and selected long boughs for walking sticks. Seems a waste to incinerate the 25+year old wood. And I have to use the app to see if it counts rings.

unscraped (left), scraped on (right).

Over the fire, I took 7 sticks about 50"long  and blackened them over the fire. Messy to my hands yet I burned off the charred bark and lichen and tiny twiggy areas. Then plunged the ends into the hot ash for an added effect.  Call me Lazy or my personalization...take your pick 

And leaving them outdoors to season a bit longer before I scrape and sand them.

After lengthy web searches, the spruce takes a beating from reviews. So I'm making a box (or two) of aromatic Spruce meditation wood to add to the usual pre-purchased wood for a meditation time fire.

This wood burns quickly, yet the spiritual incense is a refreshing aroma. 

Yesterday I remembered a holiday from childhood at my neighbor's. When my dad protested the addition of evergreen logs to the fire. While my godfather replied, I like the smell of it and we clean the chimney anyway. This type of "Christmas tree" wood ignites and heats quickly. And it can add to and ignite  creasote in the chimney.

But, I thought to myself, as a hiking stick it is fine. And thinking back to musical uses really feel in tune with the vibrations that will resonate with this spruce hiking stick, for prayers and positivity. 

And as I see the 1"-3" diameter of a 30yr old spruce (I have to count the rings yet)-- I think it will compare to be stronger than a similar diameter tree limb of a younger 5-15year old tree. So, away to scraping I go.

This was after all, our old Christmas tree that fell on my late brother's birthday after a 50mph wind gust. 

Believe it or not I prayed that this tree would come down without disrupting my heart. My parents "help" has been posing as my late brother and so much toxicity from my parents who call him their son.

The pandemic has been horrendous, along with the racist parents I have. So for me, this tree falling is a heartwish that was honored. I prayed that it come down safely and without this "helper". So when I saw it had fallen during the windstorm, I was quite ecstatic. At over 30feet, the supple top was just dangling 4" over the road landing next to the mailbox. And my trusty tree trimmers were able to trim it to clear the roadway.

After an IG post, someone stopped by and without asking took over 1/2 of the tree top (leaving the branches behind). If I hadn't prayed on it, I would have run outside yelling. Especially since board feet are pricey today. $300+ a cord of (hard) wood on average. And he beat my elderly father to it, though exchanged words with him about having an outdoor greenhouse furnace for 15feet of solid spruce.

My dad, in poor health, had his tractor to push the tree. But all of it went perfectly from my point of view (POV). All completed on my brother's birthday, a day that we usually took down Christmas decorations in February. I really felt this was a huge blessing. And I am hoping to have what I would like from the remaining tree trunk.

Will see. 

Right now, I am happy to have my heartwish filled. My father and mother both hate the healing group "figurehead" despite it being an international group in many nations with a diversity of people on most every continent. So, without mentioning the name, it was through doing "Einstillen" that I feel I received this heartwish. 

So having a hiking stick as a piece of my past is also heartwarming to me.

7:25pm update... Help today:  Yesterday I had the ash can near 3/4 full of spruce ash and was wondering how to empty it. So, the March winds alerted me to the ash can. And thinking something was burning and leaving a smoke trail in it, I ran to check on it-- wondering why it was left unattended. It was literally so windy that about half of the spruce ash had blown out of it, leaving a strange thin cloud of white ash streaming out of it. It wasn't the billowing smoke of foliage and green branches. I am so grateful for this help. And it should help the lawn grow in greener too.

alkaline foods

Missing the fresh 365-366 days a year fresh veggies. My usual breakfast, raw alkaline salads for lunch and dinner with raw almonds and protein shakes in between. Rethinking my survival food after seeing scenes in the Ukraine:

1. Alkaline preferred vegan (pea) Protein at 52g a day and chlorophyll to process it.

2. Water 3liters a day

3. Psychology Food that is "comfort" but an occasional food I usually have infrequently.

 

synthetic dream 03/29

Synthetic dream scene... (Not remote viewing) 

1. I saw 2 people fully clothed with head coverings. One of them was tall and thin, wearing a grey &natural colored dress with a scarf loosely wrapped around her head. The tall person walked at the right side of a smaller obviously male built guy, who had a blue tarp like hood over their head. They approached a door to a home or office. The door was at the end of a walkway (different style than a center places front door.)

2. The tall figure was baldish, without discernable features of being male or female. And sitting at a long table (plastic buffet type) as if there were some audition:- they said to me "you need to loose weight's.

3. The next scene I was in a South Pacific style seated bath next to a skinny and non muscular white male who was seated in the shallow bath with several limp white human bodies lined up along the left side. 

And I received the thought "you're sexy". And when I looked down at my body, it was darker than I have ever been in my life. And my abs and legs' length were definitely not how I look. 

It seems this synthetic dream is  a form of subliminal brain washing. And it occured before 10:26PM on the 28th. Yesterday, my mother also had X-rays taken of her skull due to problems with her vision. And returned complaining of extreme dizziness and bright lights from the x-ray. 

In the past, "DeepState" used my father (who claimed he is a veteran USAF OSI w6officer) as a handler for me and her. So in the past my JApanese mother was subjected to experimental surgeries that left her with disabilities, hyperviolence after the cervical spine surgery, and severe trauma. I believe this is linked directly to the DoD 5240.1R human experimentation surveillance methods from the 1980s. 

My mother was a Japanese citizen at the time the torture began. 

Since the UN torture allegation includes a parent who was/is a state actor of the government;- and also allows the children of the state actor to make claims. All of the known and unknown atrocities that occured to my mother, sister, brother affected my well being and life deeply.

And since a parent can participate in "their own torture" I believe this applies to my mother and my father is some instances.

So my story is rather Kafkaesque.

And It is my real life experience.

missing heart connecrion

My life in the USA female has been practically devoid of protection for any heart connection. Though in Japan and Hawaii, I could feel more of that heart connection. 

What I am speaking of is a "quantum" spiritual connection that transcends socio-political unity on agenda ie., Veganism, animal liberations, environmental issues.

A Heart Connection is the "missing link" to personal intimate relationships. And what I mean by this, is that there is a clear sixth sense between you and those around you.

It's shown in a worried phone call before someone near you unexpectedly goes into a frenzy. Or, someone returning to your door after leaving when they sense your agony and grief. Sometimes it's felt when you give someone a hug after knowing them for years. 

This type of connection is non-existent for me on the mainland USA. And it speaks volumes to the American standards of lust and exploitation of Asian women. Being impersonal has it's limits, and it is not safe when it is the only interaction with those in your community for years. Yet neither is becoming a trophy API (HAPA)fetish for men to defend or pass around while they sever and abuse any friendships the woman had. And sex assault is a tool for these men to "one up it" and hurt any heart connection a serious intimate partner (for marriage in US terms) has. For me, many of the assailants walked away from punishment, while my spirit and security were destroyed. 

And Americans (I mean state actors and Intel agents) who use the "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" addage repeated these offenses throughout my life. Iow., Even with their impunity, my only defense is to write another hopeless letter to the UN about how my life has been obstructed from any normal path. 

Ironically, the UN is overwhelmed with complaints from the world's citizens and is ineffective at any enforcement in member states like the USA. 

It makes the United States that I have experienced, worse than any communist regime. The impunity is stacked with Nazi-era values that overshadow my life as a mixed-race individual of Japanese and American heritage. And the heart connections I have, still remain with me despite the I'll actions of state actors who intentionally intended to torture me further.

the frequency

Listening to American voices, there's a shallow competition going on the sound waves. Most of it is those who instill a frequency and sense of urgency, fear reaction, and negative criticism or the complete void of compassion and caring.

Do you remember what that is?

Do you remember what it's like to have someone who genuinely senses how you feel and would rush to your rescue from suicidal thoughts?

This lack of compassion is prevalent among Americans. 

Many people bludgeon themselves attempting to climb the financial ladder. And over the years they become completely detached from caring about their family.

It's a repeat story that filled the voids of airspace with demonic frequencies.

Much like the ionic disruption caused by black goo oil schist, the negative vibrations from Mainstream media cycled to a new high. There is some space for positive spiritual change and balance. But many people attenuate their focus on actual minerals and gemstones to clear the negative frequencies. They remain absent of feeling through calloused walls of spiritual food buildup. And it takes time to soften the soul, a feat for those who can genuinely believe and entrust their physical well being with God's grace.

Most Americans, are incapable of unwinding from the criticisms. And this hardened  bardo I wake to each day, is illusory and impermanence rules the focus of my spiritual journey. I am sharing these frequencies each day I wake, and the more I reach to God, the more darkness swarms me the following day.

It's become a vessel filled with particles that must be charged with positive energies of love and compassion. No matter how toxic the substance.

being the "token" minority

As a kid isolated from other kids like me meant that my mom arranged alot of play dates. It was probably fun for her to engage with parents, but it was horrible for me as the one and only Japanese kid in school.

My mom, had good intentions for me as she tried to follow good parenting of the time. But, It wasn't a time geared towards diversity in the community where I lived and spent 2/3 of my life.

And it never improved. Especially when I was sent to "work" and learn the lessons of life by my tweens. Easy stuff that would make any LA trust fund baby cringe in horror:- my USA dad taking me to my US side white  grandmother's home to mow her lawn. I'd get a popsicle or something from the candy store. We never had Christmas or holiday photos together. And since it was weekends, I didn't make any close friends. 

Later on, I watched the neighbors' horses, cats, dogs, and more or less house sat for a cheap price. 

But again, I was totally on my own. Not something that would happen today.

The work lessons were fine. I never babysat. But I did start teaching 30min piano lessons by my sophomore year of high school. Until I progressed to being on a payroll at a local state park poolside  concession stand. And it was ok, except for the lessons I wasn't able to handle. And most of those were from adult men. 

I won't say it's a good place for a child like me to be, handling adult sexual advances and comments. Especially during the years before college and university applications.

And it's not prideful to look back on attracting this attention at all. Especially when one day you look back at life and see how the hurt and callouses built up. And the cost of having those early job credentials are what kept my net worth and self worth in the gutter decades afterwards. There's simply no reason to have these early workplace experiences as a minority. Especially when noone else around you respects you as anything besides an easy target passed off as a fetish.

Always seeking some safety and security is a tradeoff to having an income. Word gets around quickly when parents don't react. And some parents attorneys, like mine were pedophile debauches whose names match up to others on the official DeepState list.

What it means, it means the attorneys are predatory on the family. And parents resources are threatened repeatedly. Though, these predators will attack the children well into adulthood to drain the resources of a minority Loving Day family like mine. Mixed race haafu in Japan make money. Yet stuck here and downtrodden by city clients and visitors is degrading for decades. And the networks never dissapate. They always share their stories of debauchery of teenagers and exclude us from having families of our own. That is aside from dismantling our life plans every step of the way. The criminality of these men and women never fades, and is resurrected and repeated by subsequent generations. I will always be an outsider here. It's not my community, it a community that is full of predatory traffickers who destroyed my family.

I will never advocate for child labor. It is damaging for a lifetime.

Dream log

Waking from a dream to the sound of a spring thunderstorm. The dream was abnormal for me. Like a synthetic dream in 3d. 

It began with my life of the ocean.

And a person on a large life raft.

Who was watching the water crash into a deep ocean scene with a few people in the water. One lone surfer sitting on a board, had a smooth incoming wave that concealed a very large grey shark like (whale shark) creature many whose closed mouth was many times larger than the man. The man on his surfboard looked our way in horror. 

And the scene changed to a small island. With an arch made of 3 tree trunks and an earthen box-like shelter. One small childlike man with a cleaned gunshot wound to his abdomen. And a dead soldier in uniform. I gave light to the man's wound and focused light with strong intention to draw the bullet and any metals out of the wound. This would remain with one more light treatment for a day or two. Until charcoal was made. I asked God for the person to heal. And, to forgive him any of his sins. He happened to look like Putin, yet seemed like a young boy. 

There was nothing there to support life. It was like exile, or an abandoned military post station. I imagined this was in the Kurils since the sky was chalky grey, and the water looked equally cold and uninviting.

So, i asked God to send food. And a large frond of seakelp appeared in the ocean, as if most of a stalk had broken off.

I took this and hung it to dry. And after taking the wooden arch down, needed some way to start a fire. Without an axe The plan is to burn the wood into smaller sections. So setting fire to it from the middle to make it manageable. 

And lacking a way to start fire, I focused on making the light energy from my hand to start this fire.

Also, for no apparent reason, a beached baby whale appeared on the shore. And I dug a deep trench with my hands so the whale had water from the sea around their body. The whale still needed a deep hole of water to take the weight off their structure.

And a way back to the ocean.

And gathered kindling of plant fibers to dry for the fire. It would take 2-5days for this to be used.

Returning to the wounded man, I blessed the charcoal from the chi fire I started. And to pray on it to be used to keep the wound clean.

The sea kelp made me quite happy, since I need minerals for my diet. And this plant offered me that which I need without killing animals. Yet upon cleaning the plant while wet, I found several live snails and shrimp.

So these life forms need water to thrive in. And I made small pools of water on some crater like sea stones and shells and placed the snails there.

Sadly, this man needs protein to recover, so I offered him a leaf of the kelp with live shrimp and snails, I never touched the (shrimp) prawns with my hands since I am very allergic to this crustacean shellfish. I used leafs of seaweed to wrap the live shrimp/prawns in order to move them.

I told him he could make a soup of them, though in reflection this is a compromise of my spirituality I must contend with as a vegan. But we still needed fresh water. And that he should only eat 1 at a time with some of the green kelp seaweed. The green part helps the body use the protein efficiently, and only 1-2 snail worth of protein (like 1 escargot) is needed in one meal. After some of the wood burned, I would make bowls if we could not find big seashells to use as spoons and bowls. Snails are hermaphrodites and their body contains their sentient brain. They reproduce quickly in one month.

I thought about the baby whale surviving somehow. And was uncertain if this man would help me return the whale to the sea.

I imagined a repeat of some primal tribes using this beautiful baby animal for survival and fishing hooks instead of helping them to the sea. And knowing we saw the large  shark creature in the sea. Made me happy this baby whale was alive.

In this unfriendly climate, I can only ask God for help. And with positive energy, hope that nature senses my intentions. And by returning the baby whale to the sea, still many times bigger than me. That nature would know my intentions and bestow grace and ease of travel on me. And In this dream I wished for my seeds to be seen in my clothing. And I said, this is why. This is why our ancestors took seeds with them to plant on their journeys. 

Here is where the dream splits into multi-verse of realities. Where release of the whale brings the aid of seabirds entangled in a net with a backpack of helpful tools. Or where the death and use of the whale becomes is the finite resources with a suffering period of nothing for punishment. And by returning the baby whale to the sea, an abandoned boat with fuel appears in the nearby sea after a larger whale appeared and breached the days before.

Praying, with God, I ask nature for grace and healing. And for the past sins of all of my relatives who killed humans and animals in war and for food to be cleansed.

In Japanese cultures, they say my karma is heavy from my ancestors. And my karma may have become heavier for normal people to handle because my mother married to her enemies nation that killed so many Japanese. This is quite different as a Japanese Buddhist with ancestral worship than to live Tibetan Buddhist and to be unattached to karmic debts of ancestral worship. 

Yet my Christian Lutheran upbringing taught me I would not reincarnate and can ask God's forgiveness before turning into nothingness.

My light giving practice and connection to God, I feel is stronger. As I asked in the Dreamworld to forgive this man who appeared injured with the thought "it is only skin" and I woke to Tengri the God of my ancient Siberian ancestors as I muttered some words of a thunderstorm blessing in Hebrew.

This is how my spirit world is. I am diverse in my ancestry across Indigenous Siberia, East Asia, and Asia to Europe, and America. That is too much religious practice as a human. And so, I only have my heart, my compassion. And thoughts of acknowledgement.

What is the multiverse today? What is our faith and intention to be with the world. And what options are presented to us, when we offer our assistance to those injured?

Yet what happens when life is good for those who believe in killing? Can we say that they do not experience God's bounty when they kill a creature such as a whale? 

Maybe it is not their nature to have such a frequency that supports life in the same way. And maybe today, in today's modern world we now have those options.

This issue about my "religion"

More about this Bruno Groening group and why I've remained in it. The reasons are moreso in the reading materials, name the "book table" books made available at live community hours. Since I had to socially isolate to avoid food during my biotoxin healing-- I read most of the books. Except those with a yellow cover.

  Though I had resigned as a writing helper due to Karens attacking me. And some anger directed at me (for overstepping the community leader) after being asked to search for a new meeting place.

1. To me, it wasn't church. Yet is God focused for my healing. 

2. There are books available to read, and I read most of them that were available in Hawaii while I was going through biotoxin detoxing alone, at the park or the beach.

3. I agreed with the possibility to heal without pharmaceuticals and the fight that started with the big pharma companies of WW2. Especially since my mixed genetics predispose me to toxicity side effects more so than the benefits.

4. I thought of it as a diverse world group.

Despite the huge differences in national origins of Americans on the mainland being predominantly European. There are communities in continents and countries world wide.

5.  Despite Bruno Groening being a former Nazi;- I learned that he was persecuted by the Nazi party for healing without a license. And this seems to me to be a form of prayer and meditation. Much like self healing guided books say to do on a 21 day cycle. And include a written portion after a healing happens.

To me, after praying and participating for a few months at a time up to decade or more meditating or light giving in Japanese,  Tibetan, Vegan, New age, Master healers, Krishna traditions... I found this to take the least time when I had a busy daily schedule and focused on my learning and financially surviving being decimated with biotoxin. Meaning I've had to throw away so much of what I had or give away major objects with the hope to move forward.

I followed in Hawaii community because there were also so many different lightworkers from many different backgrounds. And so many people shared their personal insights and positive mindset. This was interesting to me. 

However my mainland experience with the group is quite different. Especially since I have never met a mainland friend in person. And ALL of the interactions have been online, weekly if not daily since the pandemic. Much different and lonely than the in-person community hours Iheld 1x every 21 days in Hawaii. 

API HAPA attacked because of white leadership

As a mixed-race person who is on NLY understood by other HAPA Asia Pacific Islanders and those from my Mother's Japanese prefecture, I have taken a large battery ok f psychological abuse from the "non-mixed race collective" of humans in the USA especially. 

I have endured decades of being scared silent because of upsetting the selfish "all one race" of  white privledged, or African-Americans, or Hispanics, or Asians.

It's quite a broad battle to fight alone, isolated from other HAPA people, many of whom are adult children of military marriages to foreign wives or Hawaiians from well before the USA occupied Hawaii.

I can say that the United States people largely do not respect the Universal Declaration of Human Rights with culture, religion, and family values across national borders. Not only is freedom of religion stated in the U.S. Constitution, but it is meant for those of us with foreign beliefs to have safety. Instead many USA based religious organizations are a cats paw for the Intelligence Community. 

And I'm n Hawaii, where I was invited to and joined a German based group:- through an African-American drummer and lead by an Argentinian-American leader, I realize today that they are the friendly minorities of the group. And though I belonged for the refreshing classical music meditation and spiritual prayers for healing, I was and still am barraged with hatred because the German Mystic Bruno Groening had served in Germany during WW2. So as a mixed race person, the typical Loud mouthed angry and sometimes alcoholic racists attack me 1. For being a mixed race Asian-American minority and 2. Because the mystic himself was a Nazi.

Yes, I said it. I am attacked because of a Dead former Nazi. The hatred and rationality of the Karens and Kens in America is ridiculous to me. Though I suppose it has some rational bias in their minds. I simply view it as the "international" version of a similar White privledged and racist Lutheran group that I was baptized into in infancy. 

The Christian people of the USA uphold their own version of white privilege and neo-nazism as we see the attacks and fights escalate since Trump took office.

And it ironically, has a similar timing to when I first was introduced to the rebound prayer group.

Yet because of the rift and health complications I face, I am still dragged into situations without others of my generation or similar national origins or ethnicity around me. I am constantly chased by US State actors (meaning a government based attack) out of my personal belief system and forced into situations that are politically volitile as a read for other people.

I'm writing this as it is a continued violation of my human rights. And the 🕊️ peace I desire in my life has been stripped away. This I have no family or children of my own, barely any remnant of a career, and it definitely lacks an element of fun. That is fun in the sense that I have options to select from, instead of the ongoing contortion of my personal intentions by cIa or Intelligence operations.

Enough is enough.

Especially during a time