Some catch phrases & odds & ends
I remember...from my upbringing.
"Bring it back."
I was able to integrate, at least for a short time, my memory of being in quantum body conciousness & returning to human body conciousness. Also, I was able to retain some instructions given to me under programming)handler command from my subconcious to my concious state of being. This eventually was called defiance disorder by Dr. Joel Elkes of John Hopkins since i frequently would not act upon their instruction.
Part of my upbringing was overall different than other MK Ultra victims. I am conciously aware of the female presence of handler NOT installing Marionette altar and being quite specific that I was not to be a puppet. I was taken aside & this was explained to me. Additionally, I was able to sometimes use chi in my bedroom to move objects to me. Though I actually perceived it as extending my reach with my photonic energy to grasp an object as heavy as a book. This eventually went away.
The Psychotronic induced/entrained skill sets were how I "safely" worked out my quantum perception.
The ritual physical abuse I had daily was something that I learned to be non-reactive to. It had become a routine part of my day at varying degrees. & From different people.
It was physical abuse to the point of blackout or sometimes till I learned to stop crying. After years of this I understood crying or emotional reaction to the beatings only prolonged the abuse. So it was my fault if I cried.
Some resemble what Mossad deemed as so called illegal & I experienced as an adult in Hawaii from a Krav Maga Instrructor who is also a Ninjitsu instructor. Basically severe rocking of my neck by hair jerking & being dragged down stairs by my hair, or as in Hawaii having my head beaten into a truck seat.
My parents mentioned that it was to bring me up in the harshest environment possible. That they somewhat agreed with the experience is the only way to create a survival instinct. This obviously spills into becoming a precog or having precognative abilities develop.
As a child I was also given the reasoning as to why they did what they did to me. I didn't sleep at my parents house many nights either. I was woken up late at night and had a small suitcase packed to take with me. I only remember being dropped off at my neighbor's home, where the Grandson of Rosacrucianer AMORC Clymer now resides. The reason was because my mom was hospitalized & my dad worked night shift since he sold his printing business when my mother was diagnosed with "terminal" cancer, though she was tortured and misdiagnosed & probably experimented on due to location of her scars & her behavior:- now that I am aware of this CIA/USAF type illegal MK program. Dr. Mangan was the only doctor's name I heard during that time and my father told me he was instructed to tell me my mother had already died, before slamming a door in my face and leaving me to myself. My brother was still a toddler, so I was 6-7yrs old.
Later in elementary school my parents explained to me through story about my name. That they were given my initials & my mother was upset she was not allowed to give me a Japanese name. And, they told me Noone would help me & It was to defer any special privledge. So instead we were set up by USAF/CIA for illegal mind control experimentation & execution, as my older sister before me was murdered at the Quakertown Hospital & buried in Valley Forge in 1970's before my birth. My brother sustained several injuries & attempts on his life for the 26 years he was alive, the earliest leg cast he had was at age 3. None of these people in my community have ever had any regard for my well being too much, especially not how I feel and if I'm happy. They have always talked to me as a "mud" which is racially derogatory as much as their hatred of Japan.
"Communicate without communicating" was a common theme. So was my father attempting to empower me with a photographic memory with number sets. I used to flagrantly fail at some tasks just because I had no other control in my life. I had a regular schedule & had to staand up for & defend my brother at the babysitter's because she hated us quite livid, but liked getting paid. She was quite racist & abusive to both of us. I had become suicidal by age 10 and my mom explained that if I couldn't take the abuse I shouldn't complain & kill myself since I also served my Emporer in Japan. I was aware of my duty as a family member & Umare no nihonjin at a young age 4.
I deliberated my suicide with the large vegetable knife while sitting on the daybed my Obasan & Ogesan used when they had visited us in Bucks County. So, I basically took alot of beatings from the various adults I & my brother encountered so much that I decided I could only continue my young life if it meant my brother would not have such punishment. So, for him, I didn't seppuka at age 10. He was the only happy soul in my family.
At age 7 I tried to make my parents get a divorce just to cut my punishments in half. I thought my mom would have had a better chance finding someone or return to Japan if my parents got divorced. So, in some sense, I quadrupled my punishment & my mom's wrath.
My father, at Dr. Mangan's instruction, told me she had died so I didn't recognize her when she returned from the hospital. She had gone through chemo & other strange operations that made her unable to stand up well. So, in bad form as a kid I told her she wasn't my mom. She was enraged. And, the punishments against me only worsened as I was perceived to be an unappreciative child. It wasn't until my brother's death that I shared what my father said to me when she was at the hospital. I don't think she had Naturalized to the USA at that point. Me, my brother, And my mom were all Japanese citizens and prevented from communicating in our Japanese Language. They even came into my bedroom one day and took my Japanese story books away that I loved. I liked the story of two men with the bumps on their faces. And the coy with three wishes.
But they replaced these stories with American stories. "Could be worse" was the book I got to justify the bad treatment from everyone.
There were no kids my age either. Not near where I lived. So I was quite isolated from a normal USA upbringing.
